Society has taught us women that we should battle one
another, that we should search out and destroy other women that have different
views than we do, about breastfeeding, or diapering, or whether to work or stay
home with the children, or whether public or private school is best, or
homeschooling. Society has taught us to
fight with one another over the affection of men, over the friendship of other
women and over the favor of a boss.
Society has taught us that our biggest enemy is another woman, and sadly
it’s true. You don’t see men trying to
destroy one another, and you definitely don’t see men trying to destroy women. Us women, we like to kick other women when
they are down, it’s like we can smell the vulnerability, we can see in their
eyes that they are injured or broken, and our animalistic nature kicks in. We go in for the kill, we add a little salt
to the wound, we grind our heels in a little harder and watch as they squirm
under the pressure. Women are downright
mean, and it starts as early as elementary school. I had hope during my high school days that I
would one day get out of those walls, out into the world of grownups, and it
would be different. It’s not. I feel
like I am still trapped in those awful brick walls with the same bitchy girls
that I so desperately wanted to get away from. Except now it’s grown women
acting like high schoolers. It’s grown
women running around and flapping their yap about me. It’s grown women that dig
their heels into my wounds and try to make me squirm. Here’s the thing about me though, I don’t
squirm. I’m so immune to the high school
bull shit, the war, the battle wounds, and the pain inflicted at the hands of
other women that I don’t squirm anymore. I feel nothing. While the words of a certain someone were
posted in anger towards me on one of my other posts, Healing is Hard, I have
not squirmed under the pressure. I will
not give in, I will not break anymore. I
have every right to express myself on MY blog, I have every right to write
about a journey of healing a wounded soul on MY blog, and I have the right to
have a sob story. We all have sob
stories, we all tell our sob stories to someone, and it’s time we started
understanding that other women around us are hurting and breaking inside and
they too have a sob story that they need to tell someone, and it’s okay for
them to express their hurt and anger.
They should be able to tell their “sob story” without the worry of being
looked down on by the eyes of other judgmental women, or being gossiped about,
or being seen as vulnerable or weak. There
is only one person on the face of this planet that knows my true sob story, my
true journey and the inner workings of my soul, and that is my husband. No other person under the sun, besides God,
will ever know the things that I have been through in this life. I do not share the things in my life that have
hurt me, that still hurt me because I don’t like for people to come along like
this “Samantha Rein” girl and belittle that hurt or that experience. My testimony is one that will never be told,
because I refuse to be looked at as vulnerable or weak. It took a lot for me to write the post about
my healing process, that was the first time I had ever posted anything on my
blog, it was the first time that anyone heard about the feelings that I had
been harboring for the past 6 months, it was the first time that I allowed my
raw emotions to show through, and I felt so much better after I posted it. I felt better because I had finally shared
with someone that I was struggling, that I was not okay, but that I would be
okay again soon. That post was all about
me, it was all about the things that I had been through, it was about how I was
trying to find a place of peace and healing.
It was not about the wrongs that had been done to me or the betrayal
that I had dealt with, it was simply about healing. My momma always taught me, “if you don’t have
anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” (maybe that’s why I’m so quiet
all the time! HAHA), I feel like, if you read a post about someone being hurt
or you can see in the post that they are hurting, and you have no words of
encouragement to offer them, then you need to keep you mouth shut. The last thing a person needs that is trying
to find peace in her life is someone to come along and try and tear her down,
so this is for you “Samantha Rein”…
To “Samantha Rein” or whoever you really are: You do NOT
know me, you do NOT know my family and you do NOT get to belittle the hurt and
pain that I have been through. Since you do not know me you could have no
knowledge of whether or not I make up stories, or whether or not I am good at
telling my “sob story”. You referred in
your comment to my sibling having done something and that I would not
acknowledge what he or she had done. My “sibling” has done nothing in which I could
accuse your said “friend” of doing, and anything that my sibling has done, I
assure you, I have no problems acknowledging.
You say in your comment that you won’t be remarking again because you
don’t want to expose your friend to this ignorance, but darling, you are the
one that is exposing everyone to your ignorance. The things that you said in
your comment were a grasp at some form of failed retaliation that just made you
sound quite foolish. Like I said the
first time, if you do not like what I have to say on my blog, I suggest that
you not read it. If you insist on
continuing this charade, that is fine too, you will not break me down, you will
not make me feel belittled, and you will not hurt me. I will continue writing my blog posts, and I
will continue speaking the truth, and I will continue living, despite the
hurtful words that you have spoken. You
will not bring me down.
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