Friday, September 27, 2013

Five Minute Friday-True

Linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday

One word, Five minutes, no editing, no backtracking, just writing...
This weeks word: True

Sometimes the truth is scary, sometimes it is overwhelming, sometimes it is heartbreaking, sometimes it is joyful.  My truth is all of the above.  Right now my truth is scary and overwhelming, it is heartbreaking and stressful, and there isn’t too much joyful truth right now.

The truth is, life sucks sometimes.  Sometimes it’s too overwhelming. Sometimes it’s too stressful. Sometimes it’s too scary.  The truth is I’m tired of living in this truth.  I want an escape from my truth, because sometimes it’s too much to handle.

The truth is my step daughter attempted suicide three weeks ago. I am heartbroken watching her struggle.  She moved back in with us following her attempt, and the truth is I’m scared to death she’s going to try again.  I lay awake at night and just listen and pray that she is okay.

The truth is I have had little, to no support from those I considered friends over the past three weeks.  I’m drowning in stress and fear and sadness and depression, and have no one there to hold my hand, offer a kind word, or just a simple hug.  

The truth is I listen to her talk about being bullied, and alienated, and talked about at school, and how she just wanted it to stop, and I understand that pain more than she can know.  The truth is I can’t offer her anything but lies about what the future holds, because the truth is girls never change, the truth is, she will deal with girls like that for the rest of her life.


The truth is my faith is shaken right now, I don’t know where I belong anymore, I don’t know who I can depend on, or who I can turn to, or who I am.  The truth is I’m drowning.

4 comments:

Britt said...

My heart hurts for you. I hope things get better. <3

Anonymous said...

You are listening to her, she feels heard. Even if you can't offer words of empty hope, that is comfort. She knows she is loved by you. And there is nothing wrong with finding a counselor or therapist (to talk it out with) or even taking medicine for the depression. Take care of yourself, and that is the truth. These are difficult things to face for a teen and for a parent.

Unknown said...

Oh wow... What a tough spot to be in. Praying for you both tonight.

Lindsey Brackett said...

Alley, I am so sorry. Truth is, I've been drowning in my own stuff for awhile, so I haven't been a very good friend to those who need it. I'm glad you posted this and glad you linked up to the FMF community. These people love me when I'm pretty sure no one else does.

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